All the Important Stuff

Sun, 15 Sep 2013 09:11:23 GMT

Name: Police Inspector Nicholas Angel (Nicholas for short; Nick if you're one of a few people, or just feel like being a bit of a dick)
Age: 38

Nicholas currently lives and works in the tiny little village of Sandford, Gloucestershire. Sandford has recently become something of a national embarrassment, since it came out that it's been home to an evil secret murder cult for something like twenty years. Actually, no-one's really sure how long things have been really bad in Sandford, but things are better now. Crime is going up, which Nicholas is loath to admit is a good thing. Rising crime means the village is returning to a more natural state, rather than one ruled by an evil secret murder cult.

Honestly, Nicholas will take petty shoplifting and stupid domestic calls over random, senseless murder.

Nicholas was born and raised in London, and has only lived in Sandford for the last eight months. In that time, he's been promoted three times: once to sergeant just before his transfer from London, then to inspector after he and Danny led what the papers had dubbed the Battle of Sandford (Nicholas will never, ever call it that, thank you very much), and then to chief inspector six months after that. He's been accused by many people of not being able to switch off, and has even found himself in trouble in the bar for failing to switch off. He tends to stick his nose in where it doesn't belong, and has no qualms about telling you how law enforcement should be handled. He once managed to piss off the head of security so bad that he was turned into a jerboa for about a week. Nicholas does not ever talk about it, but the Bar loves to mock him for it.

He's got a bit better about it lately, though. He still can't switch off, but he's better at knowing when to keep his mouth shut. Mostly. He's had something of a rivalry with Gene Hunt for some time now, stemming from a fundamental difference in how the two of them handle police work. While Nicholas respects Gene as a police officer, he doesn't really like him.

Personal Stuff

Nicholas has more or less sworn off dating, at least for now, after his last relationship ended in a spectacular explosion of drama. He's perfectly willing to admit that most of the problems with Janine were his own fault, and that's part of the reason he's not interested in dating right now. He knows he'll just fuck it up again.

He's multi-lingual, and grew up speaking French and English. He took Mandarin Chinese as a foreign language, and is fluent in that, on top of having mild conversational skills in Spanish and German. His mother is French, and his father's about as middle-class English as they come. Nicholas has four younger sisters (Kate, Beth, Hannah, and Mary), and an adoptive brother, Travis. He and Travis are a month apart in age, and were fairly close up until recently, but had a massive falling out that neither of them ever talks about, and which neither will ever admit to being at fault over. Their rowing and sniping finally came to a halt after Travis was involved in the transfer that nearly got Nicholas killed. They still don't talk much, but they no longer act like they hate one another.

Appearance

Nicholas resembles a few people around the bar, but can't really be easily mistaken for any of them. He's the shortest of the lot, at about 5'7", and tends to have the general demeanour of a bulldog. He has several scars on his face: a long, thin one running parallel to his right eyebrow (it's very old, and you have to really look for it), a thin slash on his left cheek, and a large one on his lower lip, both of which are fairly new. He also has two scars on his left hand: one on the back, and one on the palm. They are identical, and the result of having been stabbed through the hand by a man dressed as Father Christmas. Other scars that exist, but which you may never see are a gunshot wound on his left arm, just under his shoulder, and an old dog bite on his left leg, the healing of which was aided through Milliways.

He's well aware of the doppelgängers around the bar, but hasn't met any of them.

Universe

Nicholas actually exists in an alternate universe to several other doppelgängers, though he doesn't know it, and has no reason to. It's the sort of universe where weird things just happen sometimes, and no-one really questions it unless it's really, really weird. Like evil secret death cults. There have never been zombies or robots in this universe, and there never will be. There will, however, continue to be increasingly mad crimes and accidents (some of which actually are accidents, like poor old Ben Fletcher), and these are things that Nicholas simply won't think to question now that the evil secret death cult has been taken care of. Because being stabbed by Father Christmas? Yep, totally a thing that happens to people like Nicholas. Sometimes, people even fire their guns up into the air and go "aah."

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Wed, 04 Sep 2013 17:17:47 GMT

"We're making you sergeant. In Sandford, Gloucestershire."

"But that's in the country."

"Yes!"

>:(

"You can't just make people disappear!"

"Yes I can, I'm the chief inspector."

"Fascist."

"Hag."

"You really want to process all this lot? My pen's running out."

"Not a problem."

"Why are you dressed up like a police officer?"

"Because I am one?"

"Bad Boys II?"

"No."

"You ain't seen Bad Boys II?"

"Morning. The swan's escaped."

"All right, Pete?"

"Do you know this man?"

"Yeah, he's Auntie Jackie's sister's brother's boy."

"And it didn't occur to you to mention this before?"

"I couldn't see his face, could I? I'm not made of eyes!"

"Stop writing!"

"Stop... writing..."

"Romeo, Romeo, a pint of bitter for Romeo!"

"Decaffinated?"

"Martin Blower represents damn near most the village. Do you want us to go through the whole phone book?"

"Yeah, we'll put a call in to Aaron A Aaronson, shall we?"

"And what is this?"

"Seamine."

"Seamine!"

"I think you would have made a great Muppet."

"Point Break, or Bad Boys II?"

"Which one do you think I'd prefer?"

"No, I mean which one do you wanna watch first?"

"Splat the rat!"

"It's high time you realise that, Mister Angel. You and your monkey!"

"Was he talking about me, or that?"

"As far as I'm concerned, Cousin Sissy can go fu—"

"Murder, murder, murder! Change the fucking record!"

"Want anything from the shop?"

"Cornetto."

"Hey, big'un. Play time's over."

CRUNCH

"The greater good!"

"Danny, no!" D:

"It's Frank! He's appointed himself judge, jury, and executioner!"

"He's not Judge Judy and exeuctioner!"

"I didn't know we had a mounted division."

"... Nobody tells me nothing."

"Morning."

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"Fascist!"

"Hag."

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"He's not even from round here!"

"ANDY!"

"It's all right, Andy! It's just bolognese!"

"BANG! BANG! BANG!"

"SWAN!"

"Get! Out! Of my! Village!"

PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH!

"It's not your village anymore!"

PUNCH!

"Pack it in, Frank, you silly bastard!"

"I feel like I should say something smart."

"You don't have to say anything at all."

"I kinda like it here."

BOOM!

"Sgt Butterman. Little hand says it's time to rock and roll."

"Bring the noise!"

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Police Chief Inspector Nicholas Angel

All the Important Stuff

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